I been struggling with losing my patience and though I’ve been trying to keep my distance from people, I still am human and have lost it a few times. Of course I apologize and end up feeling horrible, I sometimes feel as if I am not being heard still. I struggle with depression and lately with the amount of pain I’ve been in, I feel like I am drowning. I thought the best way to avoid losing my temper was to push away, but then I seem to hurt feelings when in all truth, I need a break…. From my own life Lol… Only if we could!!! Unfortunately … that isn’t an option so I continue to battle this fight …. Just wish it didn’t feel as if I am suffocating !! I really have started to love blogging, I am not that great at it VuT … its definitely helping me clear some things off my brain and I am not “sweeping” anything under no rug, so I am winning!!!! Lol…. I feel as if I am emotionally letting some people down, and realize I need to focus on getting better and getting my life sorted… I am not able to be the same person I was before, at this moment because I had to make priorities…. and putting myself first, making boundaries and wanting and needing healthy relationships around me, and ones that can be sympathetic to my needs and me not feeling drained from so many people before my own. I don’t miss the partying I use to do, I know it shocks the shit out of people when I say that, VuT… getting Cancer has made me view life differently, and expect all my relationships to be equal give and take…. Today is a Good start to coming back out of this sad little hole I was getting myself into…. So Cheers fellow bloggers…