The saying if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say nothing at all….. has proven to be difficult for me today..

Am I so good at this auto pilot mode, faking it till you make it, that even the closest of people at times in my circle don’t seem to see how lost I truly am?! I realized how much energy I put into people, and to feel unheard proves to be more difficult as the days add feeling this way. I have prayed for patience, when I lash out, I think more of their feelings then my own, apologize the second it’s possible, feeling more and more how time is so valuable. Yet wonder why is it always me? I am not crying asking to be held and pampered, simply heard, as I listen to them, and seem to be made to feel as if hearing me isn’t exactly on their want list… well this road block that I feel I have hit, has made me see that sometimes I just need to let go of something that I have no control over, and’s actually making me sick!! Which anyone knows right now… I just can’t afford. The frustration has now turned into anger, how am I to manage through this, because I know everyday I am struggling to count my blessings and be positive dealing with the pain and this no sleeping… I am scared and worried, my ears are starting to ring, I stopped pushing the limit and eating trying my best, the sores now all in mouth hurts so much that I find it hard to explain. Hoping today that I will find my Namaste vibe and won’t let this bring me down….🪬🙏